I shall not die

I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.” — Psalm 118:17

This is the word the Lord gave me that day in August 2011, when I was diagnosed with stage 4, incurable breast cancer.  I was numb, but I knew I could trust my All in All God Who has never failed me.  I recall that moment when I stood alone in my living room wondering, “Now what?”  The voice of the Lord cut through my thoughts and told me this was the beginning of my healing ministry.  I’m still trying to grasp that concept, but I will trust in the Lord.

I shared this moment I experienced with many Christians.  Only a couple came into agreement with the Word I received.  Others immediately began to work against God’s word and convince me that I needed to face reality.  They would even pray such anti-biblical sentiments such as: “Lord, heal her here on earth or after she is gone.”  Those who attempted to slap me in the face with reality always used their human experience as “proof” that I would probably die and God will be glorified.  This takes absolutely no faith at all, and without faith it is impossible to please God.  I will get more into this in another message later on.

I had to make up my mind that I was going to listen to the Lord which also meant cutting off some well-intentioned, well-loved friends.  This is a life or death situation, and if someone is not for me and refuses to recognize the Lord’s presence in my life, I have to limit time with them or completely disconnect.  I agree that human experience includes many of our loved ones – even faithful Christians – dying of disease, but that does not mean it was God’s perfect will.  He loved them the same and welcomed them home, but it is satan who has come to “steal, kill and destroy.”  The Lord healed everyone who came to Him, and if someone He loved and knew well died, He raised them from death.  I am highly esteemed by the Lord and I KNOW His perfect will is to heal me and I shall not die from this disease. 

I have very little support, which has made this journey quite challenging.  I cannot tell you how many times I have spoken to the Lord about just giving up and being with Him.  Everyone I have heard or read testimony about overcoming cancer has given much credit to their spouse, friends, or family.  I have had to walk away from my private pity party and realize I have the best support ever…..GOD.  I’m not alone.  And I will overcome with Him by my side.

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About carriebelongs

I am first and foremost an intimate friend of Jesus. He is the Lover of my soul and Lifter of my head. I love to worship Him and study His word. I look around the church and see sick and obese people. We pray, and most of the time they stay sick or die. I've heard preachers make all kinds of excuses based on experience and not the word such as "God simply chooses to not heal a person", or "The person was in sin"...and the list goes on full of excuses. I never believed that because the word speaks to the contrary. We are to please God with our faith, not be directed by experience. Then I was diagnosed with cancer. The day of my diagnosis the Lord filled me with truth (see my first blog). I've had good friends turn their back on me and others try to convince me it could be God's will I die because so-and-so died of the same thing. Friends speaking death into my life and calling it God's works...I have no words to express the hurt and disappointment I have felt from that. I started researching the causes of cancer and it's no surprise it came knocking on my door. It was developing while I was miserable and burned out in a social work job, my dad was ill and dying of cirrhosis, I filed bankruptcy from past medical bills, and I had recently bolted from an abusive church that I thought was Christian. My dad died, the bankruptcy was finalized, I was fired from my job, and then told I was going to die from stage 4 cancer - all happening within a matter of months. I was also eating the standard american diet and rarely anything of nutritious value. I changed my diet and started juicing right after my diagnosis in August 2011. I've had such a great response to the standard treatment when I actually make holistic treatments the frontline treatment. Plus, I have healed many other ailments such as my severe allergies. I believe our modern american way opens the door to the devil's destruction. God created our bodies beautifully to heal itself, but if we are trashing our bodies, we will get sick. I do believe the Lord can also just say the word and cancers are healed completely in an instant. For now I will trust in the Lord and live according to my convictions that we need to take care of these precious vessels He has given us on this earth. I'm learning how to really walk in the obedience the Lord calls us to so that we can be healthy, whole, and blessed.
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One Response to I shall not die

  1. Rachel H. says:

    Carrie, you are not alone! Although the Lord did not raise every loved one from the dead while on earth, he certainly had the power and chose to raise up some (Lazarus). However, I agree with you. God has given us the things here on earth from the beginning that promote health and healing! I think a lot of well meaning folks just do not understand or believe in natural healing, because despite the amazing results that it can produce, we are lead to believe that it isn’t possible.

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